I was in the kitchen chopping up vegetables and preparing the filet mignon, sipping my Bordeaux, and having a solo dance party listening to the soundtrack of Hamilton (which, everyone does, right?) when one particular line really jumped out to me. Hurcules Mulligan raps out a forceful and resounding, "Hurcules Mulligan, I need no introduction, when you knock me down I get the f*ck back up again!"
It was as if Mulligan, through Lin Manuel Miranda, had struck a cord deep within me. Ok sure, Mulligan was referencing his clandestine work as a spy for the Americans during the Revolutionary War, and I was thinking about how I was having an awesome day kicking ass against fibromyalgia, which isn't a natural parallel. But, the line in the song screams of resilience, fortitude, and a flat our stubbornness against defeat. That's what resonated in me. I've been feeling knocked very low for weeks by my pain and fatigue. But I've always known I wasn't down for the count. I've been biding my time, engaging in self care, resting, all so that I could "get the f*ck back up again."
And today, I was up. And it felt great. I finally had just enough energy to have a day on my terms - getting the items on my to-do list done and still having enough energy for a few extras. I rolled out the yoga mat for the first time since my wrist tendinitis hit several weeks ago, and it felt great to just be moving again. My body creaked and popped, muscles were tight, but that was fine. I was back.
There will undoubtedly come another day when fibromyalgia knocks me back down, but I have every intention of getting the f*ck back up again each time it does.
Also, if you haven't heard the soundtrack (and newly released mix tape) of Hamilton, you really should. It's just as amazing as everyone said. When you do, listen to song 20 from disc 1, "Yorktown," to hear this line from Mulligan in action.